The Reality

Throughout the rest of the year, I began to get scared. I was worried my friends would forget me, or that I wouldn't enjoy my project, or that I wouldn't get on with my partners. Eventually I began thinking of reasons why I shouldn't go almost everyday. Of course, this was not a good idea! Why was I so frightened? What was wrong with me? This was going to change my life and hopefully give me some sort of idea of what I might want to do. I was probably more scared than I had ever been in my life. I didn't want to go and I was ashamed of myself. However as training was drawing nearer I was feeling some odd feeling in my tummy, I was excited! After being so afraid for the entire year I was excited to actually meet my new family for the year, my partners. And boy was I lucky! They were fantastic!! Josie, who I had been on selection with and had kept in touch with for the year since selection, and Holly, one of the smartest people I had ever met! They were both fantastic and fun and adventurous, but most of all they were like best friends I hadn't seen in a few months. It was as if I had always known them, the way we would sit and talk while everyone else was busy socialising with one another, the three of us would sit together and get to know things we all liked, disliked, found funny, found annoying and many more things. Oddly our threesome worked, never mind all that "three's a crowd" we were great! 

At the beginning of training we were told to write down our hopes and fears of our year. In all honesty I can't remember my hope, but my fear was simple, "I don't think I can do it." It was the first time I had let anyone know how truly scared I was and I think I brought it home for myself, but I wasn't as scared as I thought. I had told myself so much that I couldn't do it, I forgot why I had decided to do the darn thing! I looked at everyone around the room and I could see that I wasn't the only one petrified, we were all in the same position, what made me so special. I told myself to get a grip because some people dream of these kinds of things but have no possible way of managing to afford it, I was one of the lucky few that was selected and I was going to succeed in my year away. 

Throughout the week I became more and more excited. It was going to be such a fantastic experience! If my friends did forget me it was fine, I would be able to make new ones, and I would always have my family. Training made me realise that what I was about to do was one of the most amazing things in the world and that I should cherish every moment out there. I am glad I didn't quit before training because otherwise I would never have met Holly and Josie, I never would have learnt about all of the diseases I am bound to get and I would never be excited about having to wear ugly shoes!